ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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