I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
