Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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