We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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