I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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