Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
