Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
