operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
