I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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