Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
