Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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