I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
