i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
