So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im holly from the hills drunk
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
