All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
