how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
