The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
