hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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