you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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