these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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