He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
