SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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