just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
smell my finger.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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