i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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