i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have aggressive nipples.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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