you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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