Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
