margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize