apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
