Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize