Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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