dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
