My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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