he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
