I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize