and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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