Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Drunk is not a location!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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