If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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