i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
