Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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