his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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