just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
