i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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