FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they're like a gay fantastic four
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
