if i died would you start the facebook group?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize