I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
