He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
