Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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