Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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