So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
