i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
