i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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