She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
