i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
