So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
