You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
