You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize