You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
