If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
