Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
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He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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